Just a reminder of how the RNC Convention went:

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY

6:00 PM - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell


6:30 PM - Pledge of Allegiance


6:35 PM - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
Amendment)


6:45 PM - Salute to the "Coalition of the Willing"


6:46 PM - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really
Necessary?"


7:30 PM - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan


7:35 PM - Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"


7:40 PM - EPA Address #1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"


8:00 PM - Vote on which country to invade next


8:10 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh


8:15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"


8:30 PM - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)


8:50 PM - Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"


9:00 PM - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"


9:05 PM - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"


9:10 PM - EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"


9:30 PM - Break for secret meetings


10:00 PM - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas


10:15 PM - Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"


10:30 PM - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk
Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"


10:35 PM - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare


10:40 PM - John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity
Belt


10:45 PM - GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi
Rice


10:46 PM - Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"


10:! 50 PM - Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"


11:10 PM - Hilary Clinton Piñata


11:20 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New
Cult"


11:30 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again


11:35 PM - Blame Clinton


11:40 PM - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage">


11:41 PM - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore


11:50 PM - Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself


12:00 Mid - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord

Need I say more???