I did'nt know whether or not to post this in the humor section; frankly, I found it hilarious. (We've all seen the Bush resume. this is the 1st time i've seen the Kerry resume.) Enjoy!




JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCES: 7 mansions, including Washington
DC, worth multi-millions. I
served in Vietnam (four months).

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law
enforcement, CIA and defense
bill in my career as a U.S. Senator. I ordered the city
of Boston to
remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my
neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam
(four months).

MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three
minor injuries to get an
early discharge from the military and service in
Vietnam (as documented
by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four
months). I then
returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting
the war, and
insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they
committed atrocities and
were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months).
I threw my medals,
ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My
book; Vietnam
Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows
how I truly feel about
the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C
average. Unlike my
counterpart George Bush, I have no higher
education and did not get
admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever
since. I have no real
world experience except marrying rich women and
running HJ Heinz
vicariously through my wife Teresa. I served in
Vietnam (four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I
have consistently
failed to support our military and CIA by voting
against budgets, thus
gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although
I voted for
the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit
that I voted for
it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to
help this country but I intend to raise taxes
significantly if I am
elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart,
George Bush, that he
will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and
have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes
in Massachusetts,
despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I
served in Vietnam
(four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside
of the U.S. in places
like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more
profit from the cheaper
cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame
George Bush for
sending all of the jobs out of Country. I served in
Vietnam (four
months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and
Martha's Vineyard as it
might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on
our yachts. I served
in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith when
cameras are present.

I ride a Serotta Bike.

I love to ski/snowboard (especially when
secret service
agents don't get in my way).

My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel".

I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht
the "Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it
reflects our real
culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at
my Nantucket summer
mansion, though I am against large polluting
inefficient vehicles and
blame George Bush for the energy problems.

I served in Vietnam (four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN
VOTING IN 2004.
"I think, that all right-thinking people, are sick and tired of being told that they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. I, for one, am not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!"